Friday, November 19, 2010

For Better or Worse

Dear Husband,

I could really use your help. I came to you early this morning for your support. I was feeling completely defeated having been up all night and not having any success with getting the baby to sleep more than a 45 min stretch. All those nighttime hours spent rocking the baby in the glider; all I could think about was how you were all warm and snuggled up in our bed with the dogs, sleeping. I want to sleep too. Just because I’m the cow, I shouldn’t feel like a single parent. Most of the time, I’m convinced that Max wants to nurse because he smells the milk, or because that’s how he seeks comfort from me, not because he’s hungry. When I came to you this morning you said: “Why was the baby crying?! I couldn’t sleep.” … … … That’s insensitive. And you are quick to point out that I’m the one that wanted kids. While that’s true, we are in this together; for better or worse. You say, “This is the un-fun part of having kids”. Yes, but you take the good with the bad, and I’ve already learned that the good is soo good, that you forget the bad.
When I came to you this morning, I wanted more than the hug. I wanted you to say, “Sit the next one out, babe. You’ve been up all night, I got this”. But instead you ask, “What wrong with him? Does he need a fresh diaper? Is he too hot? Is he cold?”. Do you think I don’t have those same queries? Of course I addressed all those concerns and more!
I need help, husband. If momma aint happy, aint nobody happy. You’ve heard that right? Just sayin.

<3 Wife


  1. You are not alone there. When I voice those same feelings its always met with "Well you are the only one that can feed her" or "She always stays calm and happy with you". Sometimes I want to tell him that I feel if he spent more time making an effort to help take care of her then she would act the same way for him. Keep em coming cuz you make me feel so much better to know its not just me!

  2. My hubby is taking his time easing into fatherhood. The baby is 4 months old and I still can't leave hubby and baby alone for a quick trip to the store! Husband says, "what if he cries?!", to which I reply: "walk him, play with him, get in his face and talk to him, rock him, sing to him, take him outside, take his clothes off..etc." And I look at my friends, and their husbands are sooo hands-on when it comes to the baby! I guess it takes time.

  3. Yeah, Jose is the same. He always acts like he is completely clueless as to what to do. It is getting better. I feel fine leaving her alone with him now to go to the store. We did have trouble for a bit when she wouldn't even let him hold her much less be left alone with her. But now he give her a bath or will take her on a walk and give me a minute to regroup. I guess they just don't have that natural instinct we do ;p